Expectation

The year 2020, and so far 2021 have not been what I anticipated. I was somewhat irritated recently with the limitations COVID has caused and came to the realization that, though I’m not fond of wearing the mask, etc., it’s really not that big a deal; what was really under the surface was I expected this to last a couple of months and then things would return to “normal.” Over and over again, my expectations of what I thought should happen got shot down with every new report or announcement of changes in what we must do.

Meditating on 2 Kings 5, I was reminded of another person whose unfulfilled expectations almost cost him healing. You know the story, Naaman, the powerful military leader from Aram had leprosy. Through the testimony of a young Hebrew girl who had been captured, he learns of a prophet that can heal him. [Too much here that I wished we could unpack, but not now.] He eventually shows up with a group of soldiers to the prophet’s house and is greeted by a servant who instructs him to go wash in the Jordan River. Infuriated, Naaman storms off. Listen to his crushed expectations in 2 Kings 5:11-12:

11 But Naaman went away angry and said, “I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy. 12 Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Couldn’t I wash in them and be cleansed?” So he turned and went off in a rage.

He had already imagined what needed to happen:

[1] the prophet would come out to meet him,

[2] call on His God, and

[3] wave his hand over the place,

[4] then be healed.

Bathing in a muddy river just wasn’t in his plans. At the urging of one of his soldiers, he finally does what Elisha had commanded and is healed. God wanted to teach some lessons to him:

[1] to humble himself,

[2] that Yahweh was the only true God, and

[3] to trust God’s commands and obey, even when it doesn’t seem logical.

Naaman returns not only healed of his leprosy but a believer in the only True God.

Fast forward to 2021; if we are not careful we can begin to trust our expectations of what we think should happen more than trusting God in the midst of everything going on. So when we catch ourselves getting flustered over unmet expectations, let’s stop and give them back to God, seek Him to see what HE wants us to do or how to respond.

I pray that the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, as you trust in Him!

What is God’s Truth in the Matter?

I am humbled and grateful for so many praying for Kathy and me in my recent diagnosis of cancer and Kathy’s recuperation. I am also grateful for the encouraging reports from a bone scan and CT scan this week that the cancer has not spread. No one volunteers for this; it never comes “at a convenient time.”   No one said, “yeah, and let’s do it in the midst of a pandemic!” I would be lying to say that I haven’t been struggling in all this; I have, and I have a long way to go

What I have been doing is trying to focus on God’s truth in this. Here are a few things that I believe are God’s truth in this:

1. God is in control; He loves me and has a plan for my life, I can trust Him.

2. I have cancer; cancer does not have me. It may describe a physical condition, but I am defined by what God has done and is doing in my life, not what is happening to it.

3. I am humbled and grateful for so many who are praying for both Kathy and me; however, God doesn't wait until He gets enough requests from His children before He does something. Our prayers help us align our desires to His desires and to give Him glory. He hears and listens to the utterance of the smallest child, whether anyone else ever knows.

4. My worth is not on my abilities, but on what Christ has done in my life.

5. I am a child of God and a citizen of an eternal Kingdom. Since my life on Earth is temporary, my focus is not to build "my own kingdom" but be an obedient disciple of Christ.

6. I am not promised health, wealth, etc., as a child of God. Though God in His grace has given His blessings, I need to realize that the hard things that come, like cancer, can be used by God to help shape me more into His nature and character as I learn to respond rightly to Him in faith. 

7. Unless Christ returns beforehand, we will all die. That is not a surprise nor an option. At that time I will kneel before the Father only because of the death and resurrection of His Son and my faith in Him. The only question then will be whether or not I have been obedient to what He has called me to do; did my life bring glory to God.

How We Learn Theology Through Music

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. [Col. 3:16 ESV] Paul's warning is clear: teach the truths of God's Word through what you sing.

I am not trying to minimize the importance of sermons, but state the obvious: the songs we use in worship have the advantage of repetition over a more extended period than sermons, which are heard only once. Songs often connect truth with our thoughts and feelings, especially during times of crisis. Just a couple of weeks ago, I found myself listening to the Getty's song, "He Will Hold Me Fast" over and over because of things going on around me. Like David's playing the harp for Saul, the words and music spoke to me and helped me refocus on the fact that God is in control, that He loves me, that He has a plan, and that I can trust Him. Research has shown that thoughts and ideas linked to an emotion are stored in a different part of the brain, which is why even senior adults who have dementia can still sing songs they knew in church as a youth.

Earworms are melodies that get "stuck in our heads," sometimes all day. We can find ourselves repeating the earworm repeatedly, which can be very annoying, or not so much if it is a song we like. If the lyrics to the earworm are not trustworthy in their biblical message, then we reinforce wrong understandings of who God is and how He works. For example, I know songs that invite God to come to those gathered so that they might worship Him, ignoring the fact that it is God who initiates worship and that His Holy Spirit permanently dwells in the believer. Such texts instill false notions that somehow God is outside our place of worship and won't join us unless invited, or worse yet, that God is not present until we "feel" His presence.

Social media and the internet have provided avenues of input for multitudes of new songs for worship, which has the potential for great good. However, many of those composing the songs have very little theological training and lack the filters to realize the implications of what they have written. No one is questioning their sincerity or honest desire to share their musical offerings for worship; the issue is truth, not sincerity. A child could make some cookies for his or her parents, but not notice that some dirt accidentally got into the mix. Regardless of the love and sincerity of the child, the cookies still would not be healthy. More than ever, the disciples of Christ must deepen their understanding of Scripture so that they can recognize questionable biblical teaching in what is being offered as worship.

     

We need to consider one more aspect of using songs to teach biblical truth: repetition. No, not the songs of 7 words repeated 11 times, but the repetition over time in which the words and music become part of a “canon” known by heart. Songs like "Amazing Grace" can be sung from memory because it has become part of the canon of our praise. One of the dangers of just singing new songs every week in worship is that we will fail to develop a canon that we can remember in times of need. In addition to becoming the theological filter, we need to be diligent in developing our "sung canon" for worship. We need to ask the question, what could we sing if all we have is what we know, no tech, etc. What songs of God's nature, Christ's work, the work of the Holy Spirit, the church's mission, or even God's Word would we know? We need to work to fulfill the mandate to Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Another Week of Quarantine: Notes to My Students

        Another week. Waves of all the things we have to do keep 
        knocking on our door in a relentless pounding; even the 
        desire to get out of bed makes the covers seem like heavy      
        weights. We know in our minds God is there, that He has 
        not left us, but we long to “feel” something; we’re numb.

        What can we do? Let’s ask ourselves, “What is the truth 
               of God in this matter?” Not how we feel, but what is 
               God’s truth?  
         God is God, God is all-powerful, 
         God is in control, God is not caught off guard, 
         God is not surprised, God knows my needs, 
         God knows my hurt, God knows what will come next, 
         God loves me, God loves my family, 
         God provides, God protects, 
         God never changes, God has a plan for my life, 
         God sent His Son to die for my sin that I might have an 
                eternal relationship with Him and share this good 
                news with others, 
         God Is the Great I AM, the Ever-Present One, eternally 
                present and here, 
         Almighty, Infinite, Loving, God.
   
         Since this is the truth of God, I can trust Him. He did not 
         put me on the planning committee, He just asks that I trust 
         Him. Because we know these things to be true, we can say 
         with Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him...” 
         [Job 13:15]  His love and commitment to us are shown by 
         what was done on the cross and the empty tomb. “Even 
         though I walk through the valley of the shadow of 
         death, I will fear no evil for You are with me.” [Ps. 23]

          Because of Who He is and what He has done, we can lay 
          our fears before Him; we can share how we feel, we can be 
          completely transparent– He knows our thoughts anyway. 
          As we share these innermost thoughts with Him, we can say,

          “Father, this is how I feel, yet I know who You are, I know You 
          know what is best. I choose to believe You, Who You are and 
          always have been; I choose You over my feelings, my fears, 
          my confusion. I trust You. Help me in Your grace and 
          mercy. I love You. I need You. I thank You for what you
          are going to do.  In Jesus Name.” 

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Confessions....

Today has been a rough day; not because we are sick, praise God, Kathy & I are fine, Mom is being well taken care of, we have plenty of food [and TP :)], we can teach from our home, we have been able to worship online with Metairie Baptist, we have been ministered to through the prayers of students and others praying for us. I am more than grateful, I am overwhelmed with God’s grace.

Yet, after lunch, I began to cry. I recalled the great number of our students and faculty going through major trauma, loss of jobs, family members sick and some dying– so many being affected by the virus. Suddenly the feelings that I had when we were going through great stress overseas, – memories of tapped phone calls, letters opened and read before we got them, secret police taking our trash, listening to gunfire during the day and some even at night– all of these memories started coming back. We loved so many of our Nicaraguan brothers and sisters in Christ who were going through situations even worse.  Later when we couldn’t return to Nicaragua, we were transferred to Panama. Panama was such a blessing, even with the invasion and all the stress and mess that went with it. I remember thinking back then, “Oh God, how would our children survive the trauma of all we’ve been through?” During those years, the stress on our marriage, and some of our responses were less than what we had hoped; God was revealing things in our lives that were not consistent with His character and nature in us. It was convicting; it was painful.

So, here we are again. This time the entire world is shaking, trembling from a virus that no one anticipated, without a vaccine– no place to run, just shelter in. Not totally true. We can and do run to our loving Father. He watched over us for the years overseas, through countless dangers, illnesses, and most recently, Kathy’s cancer. I still grieve over so much hurt. I’m not mad at God; He did not put me on the planning committee and I can trust Him, especially when I don’t understand. I will thank and praise Him through my tears. HE is the Faithful One. When the flashbacks come again, and I have no doubt they will, I can remember how God has worked, is working, and I know will continue to work.

I pray for my students, that God would use this in their lives to build these “lion and bear” stories as monuments in their hearts of God’s faithfulness, love, mercy, and grace, just like He did in the life of David. I pray that God would use this time to draw millions to Himself. I pray for the leadership of our Seminary, our pastors, political leaders, that God would grant wisdom, that He would provide and protect His children. I thank God. And I thank you. Thank you for walking through all this as I try to process my feelings.