Ears to Hear- Effective Worship Leadership

Terry York, in his The Voice of the Congregation, shares a story of how he, as a new associate pastor of a large church, desired to get to know the congregation for which he would now be ministering and decided to begin by taking the oldest charter member of the 50 year-old church out to lunch. The senior adult was thrilled to share the stories of how the church began and her involvement in it. Other lunches soon followed with other members. Not only did he learn valuable history and lessons from what had occurred in the past, he soon earned the respect of the entire congregation. He began known as one who not only listens, but wanted to.

Though York was not the worship leader at the church, he exhibits the truth that wise, godly leadership listens to those for whom he serves in as a leader. The weakest model for leadership is that leader who dictates edicts without hearing and really getting to know those for whom he has been privileged to lead.  Without getting to know those with whom his decisions will affect, the worship leader will be issuing edicts, but not truly leading. Before those with whom we work can share in the vision we might have, we have a responsibility to earn their trust though listening. 

Decisions based on the relationship and knowledge developed in the process of getting to know the individuals with whom we serve will not only be more likely to be accepted, but tempered by what is known. The smaller the circle of relationships from which we gather the information to base our decisions, the greater the opportunity for alienation and mistrust. Weak leadership assumes knowledge of the individual and the situation, wise leadership takes the time to listen.

I can remember working with the young man that did the sound at a particular church. He was really good at what he did, and frankly, if he was on the board, I didn’t need to worry about anything. I literally could just give him an idea of what I wanted sound-wise, or what was going to be needed for this or that and it was always there. When he left for college, he had trained another student, who did a fine job, but not quite as expertly as the first. When this second student left, I was left to train the next person myself, and though I had taken courses in recording engineering, there was much to learn about the specifics of this system, quirks, etc. I could have learned a lot from the first young man, but was “too busy,” and since I had taken courses about these things, I really didn’t think I needed to ask him much. My own pride, really ignorance of the situation, resulted in my having to learn many things the hard way,  resulting in frustration for me and those with whom I worked.  I am convinced that I could have saved myself much grief is I had only gotten to know the situation better from the person that had been so adept. My assumptions we inadequate and woefully uninformed.

The model we have for wise leadership that knows those with whom he leads is Christ, Himself. One of the major truths in Psalm 139 is how intimately God knows us and how much He desires to know us. We do not have the divine ability to know as God knows, but we do have the ability to take time and ask. Before we hand down decisions, we need to:
     [1] Know those with whom we serve. We may be surprised to get to know all they really do as compared to what we thought they did.
    [2] Get input from those for whom the decision affects. Since these people carry out the day to day details of the work, [sound, lighting, video, music, drama, etc.] they can inform the situation in ways that we cannot.
    [3] Once we have made a decision that has been informed by those we work with, we need to follow up with these individuals to see how the decision is panning out.

I pray that as we grow in our leadership skills, we grow in the desire and knowledge of those for whom God has called us to serve. 

How to Handle Criticism Constructively

Feedback comes from everywhere. We know what to do when it comes from a sound system, but we’re not always so successful when it comes from people. What can help us? Here are five considerations to remember when it comes:

1. Don’t shoot the messenger. Whether it comes unexpectedly, almost out of the blue, or you see it in the eyes of that person as they are walking down the aisle, remember: Don’t shoot the messenger. There is an unfortunate tendency in ministry to “shoot the messenger,” that is, to eliminate or discredit those that bring complaints against you as a leader or what you are doing. A sure sign of a weak leader is one that takes out the frustration on the bearer of issues being brought to surface.

It will probably be one of the hardest things you may do that week, but don’t give in to the temptation to “get even.” There is a possibility that what they are saying really reflects only their misinformed opinion, or that this person has done this with every staff member, every leader for the past ten years. In that case, there are some issues that are much bigger than you are equipped to deal with and that a trained counselor may be needed. However, most of the comments we receive are not those kind, but from an honest desire to address a need that someone sees and brings it to your attention.

Look at the negative news as a little red light on the dashboard of your car: something has happened that needs your attention. Even if the comments are not totally valid, remember the prayer of Dawson Trotman: “Lord, please show me the kernel of truth hidden in this criticism.” For both the person sharing the comment and those receiving it, it is good to also remember the following: “Please be patient, God is not finished with me yet.” Don’t be surprised that you make mistakes, until we get to heaven, it will continue to happen. [See http://www.edsteeleworship.com/2011/09/what-to-do-when-you-really-mess-up.html] Later, I’ll include some positive steps to take.

2. Don’t take negative comments as personal attacks. Sometimes it is helpful to distinguish between complaints [negative comments about a specific action] and criticism [attacks against character]. Personal attacks often come from some kind of offense, while complaints often come from unfulfilled expectations.

3. Don’t sink your lifeboat. When someone brings up a negative comment about your work or the work of someone for whom you are responsible, not to consider what is being said and pay attention means you may be ignoring the very thing that could save you from bigger problems later on.

4. Don’t keep doing the same thing. When the negative comments keep coming because no attempt to has been made to correct the situation, the situation can turn from comments to crisis or even divisions in the fellowship. A creative leader must find ways to address the problem, and remember that the Holy Spirit of God is the Spirit of Creativity.

5. Don’t be defensive and start labeling those making the comments as the enemy. Satan is our real enemy and we can easily allow our minds to begin to interpret every word said or written as an attack on what we are doing. Division is one of the Devil’s most effective tools. We need to be cautious in using words like “always” and “never” when talking with these people.

Those are five “don’ts,” but what are some things we can do?

First, remember what Proverbs 27:6 says: “wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy.” A diamond can only show its brilliance when its rough edges are chipped away. Learning to deal with issues in our lives can truly be helpful and make us most useful and effective. C. S. Lewis states, “Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”

Second, learn to really listen. Repeat back to the person bringing the comment in your own words without trying to evaluate whether or not what is being said is truly valid or not. Begin with, “Let me see if I understand what you are saying. I hear you saying that...... [repeat comment in your own words].” This will help clarify what is being said, but also indicate to the person you are really listening. Sometimes, that goes a long way in getting to a solution. Once someone feels like they have truly been heard, it is easier to be able to explain your reasons for what has been done. Jumping to the defense and trying to judge motives [You’re just saying that because you don’t like....”] can only cause more hurt and regret.

Thirdly, evaluate the comments with a godly mentor. Only surrounding yourself with those that agree to every suggestion you give and who never provide helpful critiques or share with you blind spots or mistakes is dangerous and unhealthy. Plan to incorporate any changes that might be necessary. Ask for God’s grace to respond in a way that pleases Him and wisdom in knowing how to do it.

So much more needs to be said, but I trust that this will help get you off on the right foot.